you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
