none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
