Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
