I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize