Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
