She's JV to your varsity
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
