ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
