The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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