Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
