he thought i was a dude.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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