Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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