Someone shit on the floor
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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