If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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