I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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