i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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