Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
