So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I believe in your delicious
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
