I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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