The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
