I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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