Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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