Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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