check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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