oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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