Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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