The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
