I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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