and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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