apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
