Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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