Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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