have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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