So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
