Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
