question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
