I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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