using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
