ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Your dad touched me again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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