I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
