Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
