I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
whose parrot is this?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
