tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
