WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ugly people sure do ruin things
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
