You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
