I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
