You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
