i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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