I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
