Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
