After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
