he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
