Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
