I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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