i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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