Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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