Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize