he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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