she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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