$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize