So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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