Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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