I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize