You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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