Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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